I’ve noticed a few changes in my life over the past six months or so, that aren’t really connected with my journey to positivity (or maybe they are).
They’re more connected with… well, getting old – or getting comfortable, I should say 🙂
I’ve noticed that:
I’m happy to stay in more…
I kind of like going to bed early, because it means I can get up early and start the next day…
and I don’t drink as much anymore, as I like having a clear head.
“Boring!” some of you might be thinking 🙂
And that’s okay.
I would have thought the same thing a few years ago.
But somewhere along the way, as I tried to figure out what my passion is, I discovered a whole heap of other things about myself as well.
As I tried to get more positivity in my life, I noticed that getting shitfaced wasn’t one of my priorities any more.
And this has left me in a bit of a quandary.
I was actually feeling kind of down about it.
Why am I happy to stay in?
Am I boring?
Am I taking a step back from life?
And other such thoughts that I beat myself up with 🙂
The main problem, I guess, was that I was comparing myself to my old self, or to people who were still living that lifestyle… and feeling like I was coming up short.
I felt that by going to bed at 10 pm (mmm, bliss!) I wasn’t really “living” life.
The feeling I was being dull and wasting life kept coming into my head.
And then I realized.
I was looking at it the wrong way.
I was focusing on the negatives – the going to bed early, the staying at home, and the “drink less, just be me” attitude I’d adopted.
And what is this frigging blog about?!
So, I flipped it over on its head.
How things are for me at the moment means that…
♥ I go to bed early, because I’m excited to get up early in the morning and start work on one of my new projects.
And that, for me, is a huge achievement.
Six months ago I was waking up to a panicky, sickening feeling of dread every day – yep, even on weekends – because of a job I hated.
♥ I stay in more often, because I’d rather save my money now for an awesome trip somewhere new, than spend it on booze or meals out.
♥ I drink less because I’m finally, belatedly, becoming okay with just being me.
(I know that’s not the only reason people drink… but I think it was one of the reasons I used to drink.)
So which version is “living life”?!
The going to bed early, and getting up early to work on your passion?
Or the going out, partying, and staying out late?
I think the answer is both of them.
It just depends what your innermost wishes are.
What’s important to you.
What works for you.
So no more beating myself up!
(Well, beating myself up less, haha 🙂 )
Living life fully doesn’t necessarily mean going out and partying and boozing ’til 3 in the morning.
And staying in doesn’t necessarily mean being boring – especially if it leads to awesome, “Argh I need to move on this right now I’m so excited!” plans, ideas or projects.
I think living fully has its own meaning for each of us, and as long as we’re moving in the direction we want to go in, that’s all we need.
So go forth, and live fully, however is right for you at this moment 🙂